Posted in Daily Prompt

No Sincerer Love Than A Dog’s Love

I wish I was more like my dog.

There’s something about the way he looks at me, like when he sees me for the first time in the morning- it’s like his whole world has lit up. The furious wagging of his bat-like tail, ears pulled back in excitement, wobbling/jogging towards me as I leave my room to brush my teeth, is truly smile-inducing.

I may be his walker, the one he takes on mini sprints twice a day. But this same greeting is available for everyone in the house.

There’s something about the way he craves food. The fixed stare into my face while I am eating my food, is unsettling in a way that I can’t help but give him a bite off my plate. Not because I am scared, but because I can see how badly he wants it.

There’s something about the way he comforts me. It may be as simple as walking up to me and curling up next to my leg or as active as furiously peppering my face with kisses till I start chuckling. It’s easy to feel lighter when he is around.

There’s something about the way he craves his outings for the day. From car rides to a simple walk down the road, he makes every stepping out moment an adventure for him. We take the same routes, are greeting fondly by the same street dogs, yet the look of pure bliss on being outside has never been different.

There’s something about the way he loves us. He’s a big bundle of yellow fur, running around, knocking down things, hogging on biscuits, humping his pillow and what not. But he always takes his time during the day (and night as well) to individually and silently tell us that he loves us, and he is the happiest when he is with us.

My report cards back in school all mentioned the word sincere every year without fail. And I thought I was. But then I met my dog, Ron. I understood the meaning of sincerity because of his love for me and everything in his life, and his ability to convey that sincerity with simple actions. Yes, he has also caused lot of trouble for us, but everything we need to know about his love, is visible to us.

I really envy that.

Many a times my words and actions have failed to convey things that I wanted to convey. I have struggled a lot with words, paving way for verbal diarrhoea at inopportune moments, causing turbulance and tears.

If only I could look at them, tell them that they mean the world to me, and that I would always be there by their side till my last breath, and beyond, with a simple head tilt and puppy eyes, wouldn’t life be simpler?

I really wish I was more like my dog.

PS: This is a blog post submission for the daily prompt “Sincere”

via Daily Prompt: Sincere

Posted in Uncategorized

Softening The Bludgeon

I carry a bludgeon with me, everyday. I have been carrying it around since Day 1.

It is visible to others in the form of words that come out of my mouth, which seem to have no connect with, or prompts from the brain.

The bludgeon ends up unintentionally hurting the ones I care about the most. Sometimes, I am able to reach out to them and apologize (while really meaning it).

And sometimes, the bludgeon whack comes again without warning, smacking the injured soul in the same recovering spot. And this time when I reach out to apologize, it isn’t enough. Because they’ve been whacked so many times in the same spot, over and over again, it’s never going to heal completely.

But will I stop trying to heal the spot? No.

I keep trying.

Because I love them. They are my world. And it’s because of them I can never stop trying.

To be good. To do good. For them.

But the big question is whether I would be able to soften the repetitive blow before the damage becomes irreversible and non-healable. And that thought terrifies me.

Isolating self seems so easy and convenient. Just walking away, and letting them breathe in peace. They would have time to heal, and would probably heal faster without the recurring blows.

But it’s not the solution. There’s no guarantee they’ll be happier without me. And without the loved ones by my side, I have no reason to be a better person. They are all I live for.

So now what?

The only solution? Turning the bludgeon into foam. Soften it so that it gets more amused eye rolls than hateful eye rolls.

And would that take time? Oh that would take time.

Bringing out the filing tool, always hoping for the best.

PS: This is response post to Daily Prompt: Bludgeon